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Sports – The Idiot’s Guide to Smart People

Transcript

00:00
hello idiots welcome to the idiots guide
00:03
to smart people
00:04
today’s topic is sports following sports
00:08
is one of the all-time greatest idiot
00:10
pastimes to enjoy the game you only need
00:13
to do two things
00:14
yell and drink beer which just happen to
00:16
be your only two talents but
00:18
unfortunately your idiot Oasis is often
00:21
encroached upon by smart people so you
00:24
should know what smart people get out of
00:25
watching adults play games with balls
00:28
Sports is the universal language of
00:30
modern life allowing idiots and smart
00:33
people to make small talk when they have
00:34
absolutely nothing else in common
00:36
the phrase did you see the game puts
00:39
everyone at ease now that even the
00:41
weather is a loaded topic and smart
00:44
people’s interest in sports has
00:45
continued to rise along with global
00:47
temperatures
00:48
thanks to fantasy sports fantasy sports
00:51
are a trick smart people have played on
00:54
idiots to get them to play a socially
00:55
acceptable form of Dungeons and Dragons
00:58
smart people spend an unreasonable
01:01
amount of time on make-believe drafts
01:02
and pun based team names only to become
01:05
furious when defeated by their
01:06
arch-nemesis and idiot with dumb luck
01:09
but even with fantasy games smart people
01:12
have a hard time embracing sports as
01:14
much as idiots because of guilt while
01:17
you and your idiot pals enjoy sports
01:19
with absolutely no shame smart people
01:22
have to fight the nagging truth that
01:24
they’re often rooting for violent
01:25
homophobic liars and even when the
01:28
athletes are blameless smart people know
01:30
that teams are run by rich bones that
01:32
are part of giant sleazy organizations
01:34
of course smart people put all that
01:37
knowledge to good use by immediately
01:39
ignoring it once the game is on but most
01:41
importantly you should avoid any smart
01:44
person that constantly makes it known
01:45
how little they care about sports
01:48
these joyless sacks of condescension
01:50
trivialize the physical artistry of
01:52
athletes while worshiping the inane
01:54
snark astray of Twitter in conclusion no
01:57
matter what smart people say being a
01:59
true fan is ultimately a pure idiot idea
02:02
rooting for one team over another for no
02:05
good reason and never changing your
02:06
allegiance
02:07
it’s like nationalism or religion or
02:09
anything else we use to distract from
02:11
the fact that we’re all going to die
02:13
sorry for the reminder
02:25
you

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